Let's talk: A rubbish time

This is going to be a bit of a talky post, I hope that's okay.

:)


So I guess I should start with an apology to myself. A little selfish I know but I'm sorry for allowing my overwhelming feelings get the better of me. 

Last week I had an exciting post about strip clubs that I was going to publish but I couldn't bring myself to write it. I couldn't bring myself to write anything. I could have published that post today but it no longer seemed relevant anymore, instead I wanted to talk about feeling sad, feeling lost and sometimes feeling nothing. All these feelings I've felt over the last week and it's actually quite crippling. I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to speak and I didn't want to see anyone. Instead I became quite isolated, a feeling that I thought would pass. It did, it just took a little bit longer than I had anticipated. So here I am refusing to let my feelings get the better of me. I'm feeling quite anxious today, and to be honest once again I don't want to do anything but I know I can't allow myself to slip into that pattern.

It dawned on me how not many people talk about the rubbish times, rubbish times that everyone has. 

We can't live our lives always on a high, can we? 

Well in today's social media it does seem that way, everyone shares the good but no one talks about the bad, well most people. As I view the numerous snapchat stories of my friends they all share two things in common, everyone's happy, everyone is doing something. 

Don't get me wrong I'm happy too and I'm doing things too but why doesn't it seen enough? 

Should I reflect on my life as boring simply because of the happy moments someone allows me to see? No I shouldn't, but then why do I? Why do we? It seems crazy and absurd that we do that. I feel like it's easier to put myself down and move on then to constantly worry about others putting me down. 

Why am I not exciting? I want to be. 

I wanna hang with the cool kids and do things I may or may not regret the next morning, tell stories that I can share that inspire other people. (I'm a little selfish, I know)

I want to do fun things, I mean don't we all?

I know it's down to me and that's why am going to stop talking about how boring my life is and actually get out there and live my life how I want. I'm not going to let my anxiety stop me and I'm going to stop making excuses for it. It's time for a positive change and I urge you to change with me. We control our lives and our happiness so let's get into the drivers seat and move into the direction that we want to be travelling in. I can guarantee that it won't be an easy overnight change and that it will be a long journey that may have relapses and I accept that. 

I'm ready. 

I guess this is me challenging myself and you to do something new every week. It doesn't matter if it's not crazy and exciting it could be saying good morning to a complete stranger, or visiting a place you've never been. 

Be brave and bite the bullet. 

Set yourself 11 challenges, each challenge represents a week up till new year. 

Share your challenges with your friends and family, and I'll share my challenges with you. 

X

All images used in this blog post belong to me unless otherwise stated, please ask permission to use any of the images.

Thank you