A letter to my younger self

Were all the tears worth it? That's what you'd like to ask me, right?

The fussing over life which you're still doing now.

It's okay, you're not a complete failure. Things seem to have worked out and all your worries seem to be resolving themselves too.

Yes, a little slower than expected and maybe they didn't resolve in the right direction straight away but they're getting there. 

You're getting there.

Where do I begin with friends?

Yep, those girls and boys you have a mixture of memories about, the ones you awkwardly grew up with, and laughed with and took selfies with before selfies we're even a thing, those crazy kids. Where are they? Well I'll tell you and I will spoil the plot because your mum was right.

Not many of them are here with you anymore, everyone's off living their own crazy lives, and that's okay! Maybe you needed the fights, the bitchiness and the wondering sense of "Will I ever be cool enough?" to really understand that in someway you'll always be on your own

The boys weren't worth it, I'm not sure they'll ever be for me and you but you've learnt not to care, to take it in your stride and be independent. A little too independent but that's okay, you'll have something new to learn too.

I just really want to say thank you SO much for ditching the bloody heavy eyeliner and the Saturday trips to Camden where all you ever bought were badges that read "My Chemical Romance" (which you still like) and that horrid green and black checkered hoodie that made you look like an emo that's been spat up by a troll, all while posing on Louis' skateboard at the top of Primrose Hill. 

You've grown up. You're growing up.

And yes there were days when you thought "what's the point?", you were and still are lost and confused, that mirror was and will always be too harsh and those jeans you loved won't fit but you found a way to make it work like you always do.

So have faith, believe in yourself. 

You're capable of such great things. You're accomplishment wasn't and won't be how many friends you've got, how many twitter followers you had or have or how many Louboutins you buy or don't buy. They'll be in the stories you tell, the things you learnt and the experiences of life you'll had and will always have.

I hate to break it to you kid but you weren't as hopeless as you though you were (at least on most days).

So back to the question "were all the tears worth it?" keep hanging on, because you won't find out today!

(muhahaha) 

X

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Thank you